Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dear Diary: Dogs vs. Cats...

So I'm sure many of you may have seen this already...but I crack up every time I read it! Enjoy!


8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


Day 283 Of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Author unknown


Fritz said...

Oh Boy! Simba's Blog! My favorite!
Oh Boy! Simba's Blog! My favorite!
Oh Boy!!! Fritz the dog ^..^

Johann The Dog said...

It craics me up too! I swear my kittie brothers had a hand in writing it, Woofs, Johann

Savana (Faith, Denali and Starr's new kittie) said...

hummm... I don't know about that. I love my new home. And the dogs are great! Starr is my bestest buddy and pics will proove that.

Mommy says she gets this in an email every now and then and it cracks her up EVERY time!

PS: can't wait to meet you Simba. Denali tells me ALL about you. She just goes on and on about how handsome you are. :)

Jackson said...

Yes, I've seen this before and it still makes J1 laugh. J x